March with Bryan Thomas

Bryan Thomas seems to be practicing "angry look" in this garage photo shoot. Maybe he got oil all over his fancy clothes and had to take them off? Or maybe he's about to teach teach that rookie mechanic a lesson by bending him over a tire. Hopefully that one.

Porn Star Torsos, Bo Dixon

The following image appeared on "Next" magazine earlier this year:


And because of my god given gift of matching up porn stars to their disembodied parts, I knew it was Bo Dixon right away.



He would be one of my favorites, but he really hasn't been in much. One Colt scene jerking the gherkin, and one sex scene in "Paging Dr. Finger" by Hot House.

The Hot House scene is pretty good...the man fills out his scrubs nicely. He's also beaming with delight throughout his performance as he plows Ty LeBoeuf, which is a nice break from the usual pleasure/pain/mean sex face most porn stars affect.

I've seen the man in person at a promo event....he is immense.

Unfortunately, I think Bo is more interested in his day job as a personal trainer than being a porn star if you can believe that, so I may be stuck jerking off to that one scene until I'm in a nursing home on a respirator. Maybe Dr. Finger will be there.

More of "The Book", Randy Spears

Oh Randy Spears, how I love thee. I always liked this picture particularly, capturing that pre-cum moment. And he's wearing a gold cross chain which makes me all tingly down there for the white trash aspect of it. I think the small inset photo is Ray Victory, headless. I pasted it in place to cover up some unappealing girly parts, although it was an odd choice I admit. I did a lot of my cut-and-pasting on "The Book" when I was high, so I'll blame that.

More Randy:

My first foray into internet porn

When I was in Grad school, I had just moved to central Illinois and didn't know a soul. I had purchased a Mac G3 (top of the line back then), and also had my first "fast" modem, which was an embarrassing 14400 dial-up job. So the first time I had this all set up (and no nosy room mates or parents to look over my shoulders), what did I type into my search engine for its maiden voyage? "hairy chest" and "gay porn". The panoply of internet porn was finally revealed to me.

Things where so slow back then I could usually only get one or two jerk-worthy pictures from an hour or more of looking around between battling pop ups and computer crashes. So I tried to get at least one good pic a day as a life goal. That was 1997. I now have about 5000 pics. I intend to validate all that time and effort by sharing them with the world. Here is the first of many installments. By the way, it took me years of obsessive porn watching to match the pics up with movies and the actors therein.


Cliff Parker blowing York Powers in "River Patrol"


Eduardo fucking Brian Hansen in "Desert Train"


Beau Saxon fucking a "passed out" Scott Russell in "The Road to Hopeful"


Mark Baxter blowing Jake Andrews in "True Stories"


I don't know who these two are but I wish I did.

Shaved chest travesties

When a man is famous for his hairy chest, I dont care how many times the trophy wife or husband tries to convince him to wax, he's gotta stick with his branded image. However, even in this chest-hair friendly age, pussies like Jon Bon Jovi and Tim Mcgraw have stared shaving (I blame that hussie Faith Hill for Tim).




Hopefully Tim will come around.

I'm particularly mad at Jon Bon because he was a childhood idol of mine (shameful I know.....) and my early leanings towards the bearish type is squarely because of him. I think he must have had it lasered it off or something, 'cause that guy hasn't had chest hair for years. And his music sucks.




The lastest disappointment is Colt's Adam Champ, who busted onto he scene a few years ago with a delightfully furry torso and killer smile. Plus he's dating Carlo Masi, which is shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks.


By the way all these photo are courtesy of Colt so show 'em some love

Here's the champ before the great waxing:









And after:






I mean he's still okay, but dude...come back to me Adam!

More of "The Book", Mike Horner

Mike Horner is another example of the "everyman" paradigm in porn. He's not that hot, allowing Joe the plumber to think that he too could have tacky harlots in high heels double-blowing him in a Trans Am.
He has been in recent porns parodying "The Brady Bunch" , "Bewitched" and Bill O'Reilly (as Bill Orally in "Who's Nailin' Paylin?: Adventures of a Hockey MILF"). Brilliant.
Mike was never a particular favorite of mine, but I did like his mustachioed version in the lower picture with Jon Dough.

The type in this is pure genius:


I always wished I could get a job writing blurbs for porn. Someday....

Lex Baldwin's cautionary tale

Lex Baldwin was another porn star whose image grabbed me as I furtively creeped into the all male section of the video stores as a pre-gay. He had a perpetually oiled up torso, and a great "I'm no faggot" scowl. The box covers are still hot to me:






Unfortunately they were all Catalina titles, which are invariably disappointing due to poor lighting, sound and dull sex--but they sure did get the hot guys. He was their poster boy for a while...they even made him the star of "Power Tool 2" which is the sequel to maybe the most famous gay porn of all time:



Lex was not a good actor. The "oh yeah"s and "suck that big dick"s were monotone and the pelvic thrusts were half assed. Of course that didn't stop me from masturbating to his films constantly, but I wished he was trying as hard as I was.
Anyhow, Lex's "I ain't no fag" scowl apparently stemmed from the fact that he wasn't no fag...he was super gay for pay. No kissing, no sucking dick...certainly no bottoming. Apparently working pretending to be a gay man gave him a complex and he decided to change his identity to a straight porny named "Talon" and wreck his beautiful face with plastic surgery. Lets say it didn't go well.

I prefer to remember him before he became a cautionary tale, but I'm also a bitch, so here's a link to a well written piece about his decent into Michael Jacksonville on Nightcharm.

Here are some photos before he went crazy, although if you read his likes and dislikes in the last one, there were signs.















The moral? I guess don't get famous for sticking your dick in people asses if you don't like it. Or as Heather Chandler says: "If you want to fuck with the eagles, you better learn to fly"